children...

I'M DONE WITH MY FRESHMAN YEAR OF COLLEGE!!!! BOOYEAH!!!!!!

bedtime!!!

...........or not.

just blogging because i'm too tired to go to bed. random factoids anyone?

batman 3 is coming out in summer of 2012. what.
i can't wait for summer 2010.
i went hiking today.
i had sugar free chocolate today.
i watched psych today. heh.
i realized today one of my best friends is having a birthday soon and i have no idea what to get her. *freak out*
avatar is not that good. (but psych is)
singing is my life. along with Jesus. and cheese. and many other things
i had an amazing day yesterday. one of the few schooldays this semester that i genuinely had fun
i need a photoshoot.
i need to write a script
today was my mom's birthday
don't be this crevice in my arm.
i work at panera. be jealous
2 words: the. killers.
i'm almost done with my freshman year of college. whoa
i'm totally obsessed with maggie lawson. it's kind of hilarious
i'm hearing passion pit EVERYWHERE
my brother taught me the jerk today. i'm now a pro. (no. wrong. false)
shawn spencer is ben shorey. really. i'm convinced they're the same person. absolutely convinced. at night, ben puts on a fake nose and sneaks away to film it. i'm positive.
my math final is going to be the death of me
i'm learning spanish over the summer
it's time for bed now. cheerio!

in which i deliberately put off chem homework

3 days. that's all i have left.
3 days. and then i'm done with classes. done with chemistry, done with bio, done with MATH!!!

in some ways, this scares me. it feels like only last week i was skipping into fsc, ready for adventure, ready to take on the world, ready to see how this college thing would turn out. and yet, here i am, almost done with my freshman year. how can i feel like such a newb and such a pro at the same time? i suppose it's sophomore complex. you've heard of senioritis, now i give you sophomore complex. as defined by the national dictionary of siobhan, the sophomore complex is "the stage at which a student thinks they have a firm grasp on this school gig, but really have a very long way to go". this is what i feel like. i've been through finals before, i've dealt with registering, i've figured out how to study (but have yet to put my plan into practice), and *BONUS* i've made a few friends. as the new englanders say "i'm all set".

but am i? who knows how and if i'll be able to cope in upcoming years? who knows what strange and life changing events may occur during the time i plan on finishing college? who knows the course i'll be taking after this year?

i sure don't. good thing God does. otherwise i'd be freaking out. and i feel like i'm seeing this everywhere i look. some girls i know at school have completely screwed up their college careers and maybe their lives by not taking this time seriously. they've realized that there comes a point when you have to face your circumstances and take responsibility for your actions. but unfortunately, this generation doesn't understand responsibility. we drink ourselves into oblivion, we celebrate 4/20 like there's no tomorrow, we throw our virginity out the window without a backward glance. live for the moment, right? then suddenly, the moment's over. and then we crave more. we crave until it consumes us. it's not until reality comes and smashes us in the face that we realize there are consequences for our actions. then we have to deal with them. do we face them? do we run? do we give up?

i've been tempted to give up so often this semester. it literally has been a nightmare. 3 extremely hard classes, 2 labs, and seemingly endless tests, quizzes, and homework assignments. finals week is just the icing on the cake. 4 finals (all cumulative, no take-homes) and a lab practical. i can't tell you how many times over the past few months i've thought to myself, 'we're all gunna die anyways so what's the point?' and i can honestly say that nothing would make me happier than to be taken home this very instant. but God has other plans. plans for my future, plans to prosper me, and most important, plans to glorify Him. so as much as going to heaven right now would be GREAT, i have unfinished business down here. God started a good work in me, and He's going to see it to completion, sophomore complex and all.


ps i finished all four seasons of psych. obsessed? just a little.
oh, and word to the wise, don't get into a tv show that has multiple seasons that you MUST see with only a few weeks of school left. i learned the hard way.
but it was so worth it.

procrastination schmocrastination

wow, that doesn't really work with big words.

well children, it's that time again. that time when it suddenly hits you that your vacation is over and if you don't start studying for that test on thursday you'll be eated by a hobgoblin or worse. but to that i say "ha! come ye hobgoblin, and try to devour THIS noble soul! do your worst, for i fear thee not!" and i don't.
however, i do fear seeing a big letter "F" on a test/quiz/paper/whathaveyou. this is why i must study. the thing is, i hate studying. i hate anything that takes away from my enjoyment of life, and i try my hardest to avoid them. studying is one, hence my distaste. college is supposed to be fun, gosh darn it! i'm paying thousands of dollars a year for this, so i require enjoyment! please world, feed my short attention span, my hatred of inactivity, my dependence on technology, my lack of work ethic. after all, the rest of my generation has low standards, why should i be any different?

i got rid of my facebook today. one of my friends created a new password, and i shan't be able to access it until the school year is over. it kind of REALLY bothered me that this evening when i found myself with oodles of studying and homework to do, i missed the comforting distraction of looking at people's updates about this, that, and the other thing, most of which i didn't care about. why do i miss it? why do i miss the burden of knowing what 680 people are doing with their lives? why do i have this constant need to be fed useless information? why do i feel that with the severing of my relationship with facebook, i've been cut off from the human race? why am i looking to spend the time i wasted on facebook with other pointless distractions, like this blog post?

good question[s]. i don't know.

ugh, college

today i started reviewing for my chemistry test on thursday. it would be accurate to say that i am absolutely terrified.

#bestweekendofever

this weekend started much like any other weekend. i slept in, showered, and got dressed. from that point on it veered in a very different direction than any other weekend. this weekend, kelsey shorey and i were visiting one of our best friends, kara (@{{::heartbeats::}}) at college. and it was a surprise.

the morning didn't start out too well. luke had taken the car that i needed, i spilled tea on myself, and i forgot my camera at home (for which i'm still beating myself up). however, i successfully picked up kelsey and we were off!

we got lost. but since i'm a fast driver, it was ok. we got to Gordon only about 15 minutes later than planned. kara's roommate chelsea, who had helped my plan the weekend, met us and in the parking lot and let us in the dorm. kara was in the phone with her dad in the lounge, so we snuck into her room and made ourselves comfortable. in a few minutes, we heard her coming down the hall, still on the phone. the door opened.

"Hey guys."

what. are you kidding me? seriously? we plan this surprise visit for months, and sneak in here, and all you have to say is "hey guys"?? who spilled?! dang, this is disappointing!

all these thoughts went through my head in about the span of one second. however, my brief disappointment was changed to glee, as kara did a wide eyed double take, and said, "what?!"

we then erupted into laughter.

"umm, dad i think i'm gunna have to call you back. siobhan and kelsey are i my room."

thus began the best weekend of ever. it was amazing. we met people, sang, chilled, danced, ate, texted secrets across the table, and made many memories.

a list of firsts:

-all-nighter!! me and kelsey stayed up all night talking. and we weren't even tired. kara was with us till about 2, but she couldn't handle the awesome that is an all nighter with kelsey shorey and siobhan mclernon.

-watching the sun rise on the highway while I was driving. i've watched the sunrise on the highway plenty of times, but never while i was the driver. after talking all night, we realized we had no gas. so at 6 we moseyed on down to the gas station. which was approximately 5 miles away from the exit. we stressed. but then we got coffee so it was ok.

-dance party! with a bunch of people i don't know. it was fantastic.

-jello shot. don't worry, it was non-alcoholic.

-competing in sing star. kara beat me in "sweet home alabama" (in my defense, i didn't know the song...) and won on "kiss me". twas grand.

-deactivated my facebook. never thought i'd do this.

-got a slave. kelsey is now the "official slave of the year"

-boxed. with boxing gloves. i think it's safe to say i'm the undisputed champion.

i enjoyed every second. i liked everyone i met, my relationships with my friends got deeper, i felt the spirit move, i fellowshiped so much, i beat everyone who tried to arm wrestle me, played guitar, and had so much fun it was probably illegal. i want to transfer. this will definitely go down in the annals of history as the #bestweekendofever

'tis the season

.....for finals. yes boys and girls, the most wonderful time of the year is here. time for studying, thinking, reading, writing, and cramming till you're blue in the face. it's fun! you get to pull all-nighters, lose any semblance of the social life you once had, and become the most coffee dependent person on the face of the planet. i know this. i'm a college student.

However, in this time of studying and stress, it's nice to take a break (or in my case, many breaks), and remember what the point of all this is: education.

wait. i don't want an education. i want to run away to new york city and be on broadway. but then, if i do that, it's very likely that i'll starve to death, because i don't have the drive or talent to be a singer or an actress. hmmm.

so, maybe all these seemingly pointless and impossible classes *coughCHEMcough* are actually a good thing. maybe studying like crazy will teach me about being more diligent and disciplined. maybe finals will help me later on in life when i actually have to work to live.


or maybe i'll just dance through life. after all, it's more painless when you're brainless.

Honestly...

College is great. I'm having fun, classes are going well, i'm making friends, etc etc. There's just one little problem. SLEEP. yes my friends, sleep is more often than not on the list of things i wish i could do, but due to extenuating circumstances, i can't. that and seeing New Moon. (stop freaking out, that was a joke). Seriously though, i'm thinking i may need to rethink and re-prioritize my life. "Oh, don't worry about," my subconscious mind is telling me. "It's still early afternoon, and you've got the whole weekend to write five pages of your research paper that you haven't started. That's two full days to search databases and do that OTHER research project that you have due. And who cares if you don't really study for the chem exam. you'll probably pass."
Ahhh, my good old senior year friend Procrastination has followed me to college. and other best friend from high school, Social Fun is making a comeback too. it's oh so tempting to listen to them and give in. after all, out of all the nutrition majors in my classes, i'm the one with the best grades and the best work ethic. that means i can slack off, right? WRONG! however much i may want to deny it, life will go on after college and what i do now will effect what happens to me then. So instead of verbally dissecting that thought, i'm going to start my homework. Huzzah for research!!