offensively indifferent

i love movies. a lot. and as a movie lover, i tend to have favourite actors and actresses. as a result, i read a significant amount of material pertaining to these people and their movies. often times this is in the form of blogs and online articles, which allow the readers to comment. more often than not, the comments are entirely unintelligent and useless because people are stupid. especially people who don't appreciate the artistic work that goes into making a movie and only critique it based on the level of entertainment that it afforded them.
but i digress. suffice to say, even when the comments were clearly written by ignorant movie watchers, i'll get offended when they insult one of my actors or actresses (because they are MINE, after all). as i was thinking about this the other day, something suddenly hit me; do i feel the same way when people slam Jesus as i do when they slam an actor i like?
this was a very sobering thought. i'd like to say that i do, but that's not true all of the time. if i'm in a conversation with someone and they say "ughhhh, i hate gwyneth paltrow" i'll immediately jump to her defense. but if someone takes the Lord's name in vain, i practically don't even notice.
my culture has numbed me to the point of indifference. may God give me grace to begin to feel again.

isaiah 12

you will say in that day:
“i will give thanks to you, o Lord,
for though you were angry with me,
your anger turned away,
that you might comfort me.
behold, God is my salvation;
i will trust, and will not be afraid;
for the Lord God is my strength and my song,
and he has become my salvation.”

with joy you will draw water from the wells of salvation. and you will say in that day:

“give thanks to the Lord,
call upon his name,
make known his deeds among the peoples,
proclaim that his name is exalted.
sing praises to the Lord, for he has done gloriously;
let this be made known in all the earth.
shout, and sing for joy, o inhabitant of zion,
for great in your midst is the Holy One of israel.”

it's just one of those things

there are two things in this life i hate. ("heights and falling from them". name that quote and you will be my favourite person ever)

seriously though, how much passion, thought, and energy do you put into your likes and dislikes? if you're like me, probably a lot. i am what they call "passionate". when i like something, i really really like it. music, for example. i literally am surrounded by music 20 out of 24 hours in a day. i revel in it. in many ways, i live for it. conversely, when i don't like something, i utterly despise it. i fume when it's mentioned. take the yankees. i aim a ridiculous amount of my hatred at the yankees. i groan when i hear they win a game. the yankee has been forever ruined for me.

is it exhausting to glide to the highest heights of emotion only to fall to the depths of despair? sometimes. to be emotionally connected to so many things can be tiring. but more than that, it pulls my heart in so many different directions. i so often forget that there's only one thing i should giving my attention and affections to. the world makes it very easy to forget. it gives me entertainment, fun, pleasure. it makes me forget that this life is just a vapor in the wind, a drop of water in an immeasurable sea. vanity, vanity, everything's vanity. there's nothing new under the sun.

i've been feeling like this a lot lately. what is the point? if i'm not doing something that's worthwhile, and will serve a higher purpose, what's the point of doing anything at all? why can't i be serving in haiti? why can't i be a missionary to china? or africa? or a million other places in the world? i was talking to a friend about this and she insightful said "but there's no reason we have to be in another country to make a difference"

it's true. God put me here for a purpose. all i have to do is follow him and i get everlasting life. sounds like a pretty good deal to me.