mistland

the real people had always confused me, puzzled me. they lived in my world of mist, but they didn't belong. mistpeople, like me, had never made me nervous. i felt things around them, but the first time i saw a real person, i was down right terrified. he looked just like the mistpeople did, but instead of the shriveled, limp heart that everyone i knew had, this mistman's heart was vibrantly beating. not only did he have a living heart, everything about him seemed real. his laugh was genuine, his presence was understanding, his countenance was sincere. yet, something about him repelled me. when i saw his heart, living and beating, i knew i wanted my heart to live too. but the very reality of this man frightened me. he was so different from everyone around him. his body was still mist, as everyone in this world is, but the most important part of him was whole; his heart. every mistperson treasures and protects their heart, whether they realize it or not. you can tell when someone has made their heart vulnerable: the heart will shake when something is happening to it. the heart only shakes when it is being hurt or being loved. if it is hurting, it will get a deep gash that doesn't bleed but leaves an ugly scar when it tries to heal itself. every heart, except the hearts of the very very young have scars. however if a heart is being loved, it slowly becomes more and more red, growing closer to the colour of a living heart, but never actually reaching that colour. the closest i'd ever seen a heart get to beating was the heart of the bride and groom at weddings. even then, the heart wasn't real. i'd lived my whole life thinking that hearts did not beat. i only caught a glimpse of the mistman's beating heart as he strode by me on the street one day, but it drove me nearly wild curiosity and confusion. my life was changed from that moment.

pretend

let's pretend
i'm that little girl
you're that little boy
we're best friends
just like it used to be

clothed in rainbows

you know those southwest "wanna get away?" commercials? well lately, i've been feeling a lot like that. something (or things. like, lots of them) goes wrong, and suddenly i'm thinking to myself, hey! what a great time to visit virginia and not come back to massachusetts! ever!!
which is just stupid. because i love my people up here. but sometimes things get so over complicated and situations get to uncomfortably tense and one person says one thing that makes me look at them in an entirely different light. something happens that i didn't want to. something that i wanted to happen doesn't. people disappoint. people fail. people are.......people. and for some reason, this still surprises me after 20 years. people aren't perfect? what? well, i knew most people weren't, but i thought for sure this one person.........
it's a vicious cycle. you put your hope in someone and they will disappoint you. every time. messing up means being human. but it still comes as a shock when MY people mess up. they're my people! they don't mess up! because then i'm affected! and i don't like being affected!
this is true. i've been failed by every person i know in some way or another. for some people, i've been failed in a big way. for others, not as much. but everyone i know has failed me before. and i've failed everyone *i* know. in some way or another.

lesson learned? God is the only thing in this world that makes sense.

what?

hope
trust
love
faith

what do you do
when the one person you
thought would never let you down
does

what do you think
as you stand on the brink
of an irreversible mistake waiting to be
made

what do you say
as they start to slip away
and nothing you can do will make it
stop

what do you feel
when the cool, even keel
of a perfectly composed relationship
erupts

hurt
why
nothing
broken



this too shall pass
this too shall pass
this too shall pass

trains - a drabble of 200 words

it wasn't the first time i'd rode the train, but it was one of the most memorable. my favourite thing about train rides is the people. you get to observe them, talk to them, sometimes make friends with them. it was on one such train ride that i met miya. we instantly clicked and i greatly enjoyed the time i spent with her. when we got to the station, i found out that we were both transferring to the same train. as miya and i got off to switch, she suddenly began giving me her luggage, saying "here. my arms are tired and i can't carry this anymore". at first, i was resentful. just because we had hit it off didn't mean she had the right to dump her baggage on me and expect me to take care of it. but as i watched her walk unhindered across the platform, smiling and beckoning to me, i thought to myself, if my arms ever got tired, it would be nice to have someone carry my luggage for me. so i carried it. because i knew next time my own got too heavy, i'd have someone to lend me a hand.