in which i deliberately put off chem homework

3 days. that's all i have left.
3 days. and then i'm done with classes. done with chemistry, done with bio, done with MATH!!!

in some ways, this scares me. it feels like only last week i was skipping into fsc, ready for adventure, ready to take on the world, ready to see how this college thing would turn out. and yet, here i am, almost done with my freshman year. how can i feel like such a newb and such a pro at the same time? i suppose it's sophomore complex. you've heard of senioritis, now i give you sophomore complex. as defined by the national dictionary of siobhan, the sophomore complex is "the stage at which a student thinks they have a firm grasp on this school gig, but really have a very long way to go". this is what i feel like. i've been through finals before, i've dealt with registering, i've figured out how to study (but have yet to put my plan into practice), and *BONUS* i've made a few friends. as the new englanders say "i'm all set".

but am i? who knows how and if i'll be able to cope in upcoming years? who knows what strange and life changing events may occur during the time i plan on finishing college? who knows the course i'll be taking after this year?

i sure don't. good thing God does. otherwise i'd be freaking out. and i feel like i'm seeing this everywhere i look. some girls i know at school have completely screwed up their college careers and maybe their lives by not taking this time seriously. they've realized that there comes a point when you have to face your circumstances and take responsibility for your actions. but unfortunately, this generation doesn't understand responsibility. we drink ourselves into oblivion, we celebrate 4/20 like there's no tomorrow, we throw our virginity out the window without a backward glance. live for the moment, right? then suddenly, the moment's over. and then we crave more. we crave until it consumes us. it's not until reality comes and smashes us in the face that we realize there are consequences for our actions. then we have to deal with them. do we face them? do we run? do we give up?

i've been tempted to give up so often this semester. it literally has been a nightmare. 3 extremely hard classes, 2 labs, and seemingly endless tests, quizzes, and homework assignments. finals week is just the icing on the cake. 4 finals (all cumulative, no take-homes) and a lab practical. i can't tell you how many times over the past few months i've thought to myself, 'we're all gunna die anyways so what's the point?' and i can honestly say that nothing would make me happier than to be taken home this very instant. but God has other plans. plans for my future, plans to prosper me, and most important, plans to glorify Him. so as much as going to heaven right now would be GREAT, i have unfinished business down here. God started a good work in me, and He's going to see it to completion, sophomore complex and all.


ps i finished all four seasons of psych. obsessed? just a little.
oh, and word to the wise, don't get into a tv show that has multiple seasons that you MUST see with only a few weeks of school left. i learned the hard way.
but it was so worth it.