a visit back to childhood

FAVOURITES OF THE TRIP

song: let her dance - bobby fuller four
movie: breakfast at tiffanys
night: tuesday
day: sunday
drink: watermelon bubble tea
food: super fake pancakes
place: georgetown
activity: hair dying
show: arrested development
conversation: music/movies/life with emily and danny
hug: molly's hello
moment: at panera, listening to my old, dear friends laugh

won't

sometimes i want to feel
special
so i do things to impress
sometimes i want to feel
priceless
so i look at my great worth
sometimes i want to feel
significant
so i see my own distinction
sometimes i want to feel
unique
so i go against the grain
sometimes i want to feel
something
then i remember that i won't

so when does real life start?

there are nights when i can't sleep
and nights when i just don't
i'm just saving my sleep for real life

sometimes i try hard to think
and it doesn't always work
i'm saving my thoughts for real life

the moments i breathe are fixed
and they're short-lived and sweet
i'm saving my breath for real life

i gravitate towards living
and it's harder than it looks
i'm saving my life for real life

plain, common, regular, normal

most people are ordinary. they're born into ordinary families, go to ordinary schools, get ordinary jobs, and live ordinary lives. they meet other ordinary people, have ordinary relationships, ordinary marriages, ordinary children. they meander through their ordinary existence until they do their final ordinary thing; die. it's so strange that we ordinary people tend to look at the extraordinary among us and wish we had what they have. [if only i had this extraordinary singing talent, if only i had this extraordinary acting talent, if only i had this extraordinary athletic talent] until we vicariously live our ordinary lives through extraordinary people.

but the truth is, we're all ordinary. we're all so terribly ordinary that we make it a game to see how far from ordinary we can get. and the person who gets farthest from it honestly doesn't get very far at all. so i can crave a different lifestyle, i can pursue my talents with reckless abandon, i can work at something until my strength gives way, but within myself, i will never be extraordinary. hm.

.

what do you do when you fall in love with your best friend
what do you do when you break just as you start to bend
what do you say when your words always get in the way
what do you do when the hardest thing is best for you

what do you think when your thoughts always come from your heart
what do you think when the one you trust tears you apart
what do you say when your words keep getting in the way
what you do you think when you know you're standing at the brink

when you took that leap you knew you'd fall
you just didn't know it hurt so bad
when you stopped falling and hit the ground
when you loose something you never had
but you thought you had